12 Years Ago Today...

I was 19, 9months + pregnant, and living with Leith and his family. My twin brothers who were now 4, had chicken pox. I never had them and didn't want to subject myself or my baby (who was now 4 days late) to it!!
I had a doctor's appointment for a "non-stress" test to check on my baby's health. Leith had a meeting for the same time-1:00. He dropped me off at the hospital and my friend Christina was with me. My test was vigorous, and they kept having me do different things and really didn't explain what was going on. Leith got back from his meeting and they wouldn't let him or Christina in to see me. They had me hooked up to machines and even had me play a radio with Mexican music up to my stomach to stimulate the baby. They finally let me know that I was in labor and with every contraction the baby's heart rate dropped. First of all, I was terrified! Secondly, I didn't even FEEL any contractions! I told Leith what was going on, then they decided I had to have an emergency c-section, this was at about 4:00 or 4:30. They told me what would happen, but told me I would be put to sleep so Leith could not come in with me. It was all quick. They ran in the room, removed all my jewelry, shaved my stomach, gave me an iv and (gross-sorry) a catheter. My mom wasn't even notified, but I think I did call my grandpa. I guess Leith called his family. I was so scared I was trembling uncontrollably. They put me on a girney and raced me down the hall. We went into the operating room where there were already 10 people waiting on us. The anesthesiologist asked me if I wanted an epideral or to be put to sleep. I was like--what??? I said, just put me to sleep!! He told me to swallow a tube and I remember gagging........
I had this dream, it was really foggy. These two women were at the park on a really sunny day. They were just sitting on the bench and talking about their lives. They were laughing and joking, and then...I realized that it wasn't a dream. I was in the recovery room and the nurses were taking care of me and watching over me. The room was extremely bright, and I was awake. My baby was born at 4:50pm, and I was totally sore!! They slung me onto another girney and pushed me down the hall. They brought me in a room where there was a ton of people. Oh, I knew these people. Leith, his mom and dad, his sisters, Christina, and some of my friends. I just kinda scrunched my face and looked at everyone and then the nurse kinda slung this baby onto me. She had bright orange hair that stuck up everywhere and a bright red face. She was chubby and had a dark red spot on her forehead. She was crying, and they said, "Here's your baby!!" I thought...what??!!
I was in the hospital for 5 days, my mom came a few hours after she was born, my grandparents came, Leith's grandma came, coworkers, more friends, they all came to see little Caitlyn. Leith brought me roses, and there were tons of flowers and balloons. I was totally bombed out of my mind. I had morphine in my iv and when they injected it, I could feel it flow through my veins. Take your fingertips and gently slide them up your arm-that's what it felt like! She was a good baby and I had a private room. I never wanted her to go into the nursery so she just stayed with me 24 hrs a day. The only time she left my sight was when they weighed her. I got to know the nurses and schedule pretty well, at least until nighttime. At about 2am on the first night, a nurse came in and said she had to weigh Caitlyn. I had never seen her before but I gave her to the nurse and she took her, I, again, was pretty bombed. It took about 1 second after the door shut before I felt it, the sheer terror. I freaked and felt helpless, what had I done? Would I see her again? Who was that? Could I even remember what the "nurse" looked like? I was helpless because I still couldn't get up or walk. It felt like hours and I strained to reach the pull cord for the nurse. I was about to scream "Help! Help! Someone stole my baby!!!", when all of the sudden the door swung open. "Well she is some great eater! She has gained 2 ounces!" My baby was safe in my arms and I had panicked for nothing! I realized at that moment that my life had changed forever, and I would never again be "me", but I would be a mother. I felt like I had a purpose and my life had a whole new meaning!

Happy Birthday Leith! 9/29/72(finale)

So I had gotten the call that I wanted! It was my sophomore year, I was almost 16, and I was having a blast!
It was September 1989- Leith and I talked every night. It seemed like before I really knew him he was so shy and just the hot 1-liner guy, but now he seemed so deep. It seemed like we had too much to say to each other, so much in common. The more we talked, the more I liked him. This week I had to get my school picture taken. I distinctly remember this because I had it taken with a huge HICKEY on my neck. It was not from LEITH but from JASON!! The guy at the party that basically latched on to my neck as I tried to run away from him. Oh by the way he is also a good friend of Leith's! But he just laughed about it. It was time for Frontier Days in Naples. There were rides, carnival games, booths, and it all kicked off with the parade. Leith wanted to see me on the weekend and I told him I would be marching in the parade. He said he understood. See I was in marching band-I was in the flag/dance corp and we marched after the band and did our little routine. I was a "captain" at this time so I was right in front. It was a totally hot day and all the spandez, sequins, BOOTS, and 10# flag didn't help. We had marched about 2 miles when I saw we were near the end!! This was the spot that we stopped and did the big routine. We set up into the formation along with the band and who do I see in the spectators??? Of course Leith and Gonz! They had come to watch me. I can't think of a time when I was more embarrassed. The flag routine was one thing- I mean we had to throw in in the air and everything. But I was also completely sweaty, red-faced, and the best part, I had to do a split!! I made it through but still cannot live it down. After we marched to the end and everyone went their separate ways we had to wait and talked to our band director. Leith waited with me and we talked about doing something after the parade. It turned out he only lived 1 street away from where we were, and he wanted me to come to his house!! I told him I had no other clothes, he said his sister would let me borrow some, that was- IF I was his girlfriend!! I smiled and said that I was! Just then some man came up to us and asked us our names and ages. He was a reporter for the newspaper and took a picture of Leith "shielding us from the sun" with my flag!!(I still have the picture) WE laughed and as soon as we could, left for his house. Now this was a funny sight to see Leith and I walking, me dressed in full flag uniform, and Gonz skateboarding while holding my flag in the air and singing(screaming). When we got to his house I met his mother and sisters, all of whom I immediately loved. They were all sooo outgoing and friendly, and it just felt so comfortable. They teased Leith about bringing a girl home and the way I was dressed, but it was funny. His sister, who was 2 years younger than me, let me borrow some of her clothes. I had to push Gonz out of the room and finally changed out of the ORANGE and BROWN SPANDEX SEQUIN OUTFIT!! When I was done, I opened the door to see Leith standing in the doorway. That's when we had our very first kiss!!!


Okay it may seem like I am still obsessed with this person, but actually I have just really been totally wrapped up in my past as a whole. In the far past(here) and the not so distant past(6 yrs ago). Not just about Leith or just past boyfriends, but also friends I truly miss and just old times. I really wanted to get the beginning of "our story" out now because today is Leith's birthdy!! And then tomorrow is OUR CHILD's birthday!!!...

"He's never gonna call YOU"(part II)

My last post was taken from summer in the late 80's. I want to start this one fall of 1989!
One night my friend, Tina and I were at the mall waiting on her stepdad to pick us up. Tina's boyfriend was at the mall, I didn't have a boyfriend. Josh (he was also my brother's best friend) and Tina made me sick because they had been together for 1 1/2 yrs and could never be apart. They acted out this totally dramatic adult romance that was usually way too intense for me. This night he was going to sneak over as usual, even though I would be there! So-we decided to "sneak a party" into Tina's room. The plan was to ask Harry (the stepdad) to drop everyone off at Anthony's house , which was close to Tina's. So about 4 boys were dropped off at "Anthony's" while Tina and I went to her house. By the time they got to Tina's they had another 4 people with them! Now Tina's family had a relatively small house and her room was maybe 15'x15' and we snuck like 10 people in the room while her parents were in the other room! Let me just say first that the parents were either really stupid, or didn't care. On this night there was a fist fight, sex(2 couples ventured into another room, at separate times), drinking, the window broke, Josh carved Tina's name in his chest because they 2 got in a fight, OH and I STEPPED ON THE RAZOR-I sliced my big toe almost in half!!!(I'll show u the scar...) IT was total chaos and everyone wanted more md 20/20(the only drink we could score at that time) and left to go get it. Well all except Tina & Josh who were still fighting, me-bleeding and trying to elevate my foot, and blast from the summer-quiet LEITH. We briefly chit chatted about Gonz and the summer, the crazy night, and when everyone got back-everyone (including Leith-but not JOSH) left!

During that school year I still hung out with my skater friends, but a lot happened in my life! I had two new brothers, they were twins. I also came into my own a little bit- I still hung out with my skater friends, but now I drug someone new into the group. Meghan was from a rich part of town, her parents owned a pub and liquor store (still do), she was pretty and she was PREPPIE!! I learned from her that I could still be different and my self while caring what I look like and putting an effort into my appearance. No more skater t-shirts, I was ALL about the Gap! But, you know, it worked, ok? She and I had some crazy times! We would push her mom's Mercedes out after they all went to bed, steal it and come home at 2am. We would throw huge parties that resulted in destruction of furniture, artwork, and the lanai getting a huge hole in it! Not bad for a couple of 15yr olds, huh? One night Meghan was actually grounded-but we made plans anyhow that our friends Tim, Clayton, and some other dude were gonna pick her up and then me and we'd go to a party. It was time for them to come, no show. 1 hr later Tim calls me, Meghan couldn't get out so they wanted directions to my house to get me. I gave it to them, and waited. 15 min later there is some van next door that looks like their van. A few min later they bang at my door and tell me to get in the van-they peal out. So the jackasses walked right into my next door neighbors house and were screaming for me, running all over their house when they realized that I was next door! We get to the party, which is at a new condo development that isn't even 100% done yet-it just looks weird. We pull up and these people run up to the van and tell us to leave. We tell them we were invited to the party and they tell us there are too many people and we have to go. Just then Jason from my geometry class runs up. He knows all the guys in the van but says only I can go in, so the guys leave and I stay. I realize that was stupid about 30 min later when Jason won't leave me alone. Everyone sits around playing drinking games and Jason still kept bugging me. I tried to go into another room and see someone passed out-it's hard to see who because we only have candles-no lights. I get a closer look and who is it? My old friend Leith. I try to leave the room and I hear, "How's your toe?" I look at him and he is laying in a pile of PUKE!! He was "pre-celebrating" his 17th birthday. We hung out all night and he kept me safe from Jason. Everyone went into the hot tub(which did work). I guess everyone had money in their shorts and tried to use the dryer, which didn't work. See I called it the "magic dryer" because all night long I kept opening it up and there was more and more money in it. I guess I was wasted too. We all got hungry and went to the convenient store. Leith wasn't getting anything, I asked why. He said he had no money-I said I'd buy him whatever he wanted!!(magic dryer) He went on and on all night about how nice I was. (he still knows nothing of the magic dryer) At dusk mostly everyone had left, except for the 3 guys who had the party, Leith, me and JASON. We decided to go to breakfast and just left Jason. After breakfast they dropped me off, and in the car I said, "If any of you want to call me my # is 774-xxxx!" Of course this was only intended for Leith but I was too scared to give it to him. I thought this way he had no pressure and would call me if he wants. I walked into my house and was on complete cloud 9 after my night!! Leith and I just got along so well and just talked all night. He was so funny and we were constantly laughing at each other-we were both somewhat shy. (him way more than me) I went into my brother's room and Josh was over. I told them about my night,what I had done in the car and why. They both said, "Leith was HERE??" (remember awesome skaters vs sucky, wanna-be-awesome-skaters-friends' skaters?) I said yeah. They went on and on about how Leith would never call me, he was too cool for me, etc etc etc...They were still ragging on me 10 min later when the phone rang. It was LEITH>>>!!!!!!!!!!

"Dang...that thing's erected like a mother...!" (part I)

It was the late 1980's-a time when Debbie Gibson ruled, 90210 and Melrose place were the shows to watch, and preppie girls rolled up their shorts and t-shirt sleeves! A time when you could smoke in the mall, there were no cell phones, and no internet! Sega Genesis was the big game system, and all your music was on a tape. I lived in a medium- sized town in southern Florida where it seemed like everyone was just a preppie cliche. Except for us.
Skateboarding was still underground everywhere except for California, I mean this was before all the "Skateboarding is not a crime..." that was the result. I feel like my friends and I were the beginning of a movement. Now, in the beginning I did NOT skateboard, that would come later. But I LOVED to watch it, talk about it, rent Bones Brigade or Vision videos, and I loved the MUSIC!! It was our chance to be different. At first people thought we were weird. I remember 9th grade we had to do an oral report on a generation or era and I did mine on the punk rock movement. I brought in a Sex Pistols tape and when I played it some people COVERED THEIR EARS. We hung out at the movie theatre, not to go see a movie, but to hang out behind it and that'd where everyone would meet, bring ramps , etc. This was (for us) pre-drugs, and no one would drink and skate, so that was a sober place at first too.
Even within our "group" there was segregation, depending on your skating ability. That didn't pertain to me, I was friends with everyone since there were only about 4 girls and 30-50 boys. My brother and most of the kids I hung out with in Jr. High were the "sucky skaters." Of course the awesome skaters were also the hot ass skaters- so those were the ones I liked to watch!! We were so crazy and carefree, sometimes I look back and miss it so much. A song will just flash me back to that period, and make me smile. We hung out sometimes at different spots we called "the rope swing 1, 2, 3, etc." They were basically little ponds or secluded spots on the gulf where they made rope swings. We would spend all day jamming music, I would bring a bag of wine coolers (!) that I got from the grocery store I worked at. I was a total daredevil and always the only or first girl to attempt the rope swing. We also went "pool hopping." Naples is a city right on the gulf. There are TONS of hotels, motels, and inns of all sizes along the water. We would go at night and sneak into the pools and hot tubs until a security guard came. We were caught more than once but always managed to get out of it. We had two spots that e called "1st story jump, " and 3rd story jump." (Man we were creative) I'm sure you can figure it out-there was one hotel where there were 2 floors and the pool was right next to the hotel. We would climb to the top of the first floor and run and jump into the pool! That usually lasted about 1 time for each of us before we had to run. But the 3rd story jump was just insane! I DID not try it! It was a 3 story hotel, on top of the roof is was all that really fine rocks, the pool was about 10 ft away from hotel. They climbed to the top, ran as fast as possible without slipping, and jumped...........That usually lasted about 3 people before all hell broke loose. The hotel BUILT A FENCE ON THE ROOF to prevent us from doing that! It is STILL there! I was there in April and made sure.
As I said, life was carefree. I was never really serious about boys and my "relationships" never lasted. One day we were at the movies during the day, which was weird for us. Everyone was skating and all of the sudden the cops came and at that time they would threaten to arrest you for skatebording or even hanging out. Everyone scrambled and I got stuck leaving in this van with some guys I KNEW OF,but didn't really KNOW. They were known as the best skaters in town. Phil was driving and I was in back with Gonz and Leith. I had seen them before and thought Leith was really cute but he was super quiet. Mike wasn't-he kept being totally perverted, climbing all over me and the seats and trying to flash me. "Did you see that Leith?" Mike said. "No, what?" said Leith. "DANG, THAT THING'S ERECTED LIKE A MOTHER!"
That of course became the new catch phrase.

Apples

I think there's just something so endearing about Fall. It's a time where all of your senses are engaged...beautiful colors, crunching of leaves, that unmistakable smell in the air, and always pumpkin pie! Today we went to the apple orchard! We picked apples, ate apples, drank cider, went on a hayride, corn maze, .... It was so fulfilling to see both girls so happy and enjoying themselves so much! Gabriella was eating apples and walking along, bopping her head to invisible music. She wanted nothing to do with holding hands, though, she can do it herself! Caitlyn took control of the apple-picking. She was very methodical as to which types she would pick and how many, how they would fit in the bag. Sometimes I think I've created a monster! I feel bad that my weird idiosyncrasies have rubbed off on her! Poor kid. Of course when Gabriella saw what her big sister was doing, she had to join in! She just started picking whatever and throwing it in the bag. They are so different. I think she even tried to pick a pumpkin and put it in the bag. Caitlyn was having no part of that. Apples only in that bag. She really did have fun though, don't mistake me. It was nice to see her letting her guard down a little and loosening up around *gasp* her mother.

I think it is so important to make the most of time with your loved ones. I feel so fortunate and recognize the fragility of life. All of the tragedies recently kinda put things into perspective for you and help to prioritize your life. I'm not living the life I thought 10 years ago that I would be now, but I feel like a different person than I was then. She is still inside , believe me, but I think she's evolved quite a bit.

Oh- does anyone have any good apples recipes?? My little pickers have supplied me with enough apples to last until next fall!

Aaah...To be privileged!

Have you ever heard of a rider? It is a contract that follows an artisit or celebrity and establishes their requirements for an appearance or a show.

It's just amazing to me some of the things they put into them! Of course they do it because they can!! I just wanted to share some of the information...

Coldplay-Marlboro Lights, NO AMERICAN BEER, internet connection
Blink 182-crispy m&m's,powerbars, Capt'n Crunch
Diddy-*double check all food for hair, 2 bottles Hennessey, cristal, dom perignon
Foo Fighters-tickets to pass out!, full creative lighting/sound/wardrobe control, tube socks, boxer shorts, stinky cheese
Ashlee Simpson-oreos, listerine, baked lay's, special "vocal" equipment
Jennifer Lopez-white room, white flowers, white tables, white couches, white candles,pie ala mode, cds of Destiny's Child, De La Soul, etc.(40 in all), no food allowed in white room!
Britney Spears-12 dressing rooms-all with specific furniture,altoids, doritos, 2 full length mirrors, pop tarts, KFC, lucky charms
Eminem-game room with ps2 and ping pong table, massuese, basketball hoop outside room, turkey burgers, filet mignon, baked potato w/ sour cream, recycling bins
Kathy Lee Gifford-3 dressing rooms w/full length mirrors, airline tickets-3 1st class rd trip from NY, 2 rd trip coach from Baltimore, 2 rd trip coach from Las Vegas, 1st class hotel-2 bedroom suite and 5 rooms, special colored lighting specific to her and band, 2 bottles of white wine
Busta Rhymes-6 bottles of champagne, 1 bag of peppermints, 24 pc bucket of chicken from KFC, 1 box Lifestyles or Rough Riders condoms ribbed
Luciano Pavarotti-no distinct smells near him, no flowers/noise/smoking backstage, toilet w/soft toilet paper, golf cart, 5 star hotel-master suite must be completely dark at all times, fruit juicer

It reminds me of the movie Airheads...when they make all those stupid demands like the naked pic of Bea Arthur!! If I ever become famous and have a rider I think I will require that everyone around me can only wear the color LIME GREEN. Everyone MUST address me as "Oh Superior One", and I may only eat foods that begin with the letter "Q"!!

Deadbeat Dad

Once upon a time He met Her!
He was instantly smitten, she wasn't so sure.
He pursued her and wooed her until they fell in LOVE>..

They decided to they wanted a baby, but it was many years before they could conceive. It finally happened but at a bad time, they were fighting constantly, HE was about to leave.

They tried to work it out, and did without a doubt. He became so thoughtful and sweet, until some new friends he did meet. He started staying out all night and forgetting his keys,
HE had again succumb to his drinking disease.

SHE finally had enough! She packed up all her stuff, said good-bye and took off along with the babe!

At first he made her life hell, she was depressed and never felt well. She had the weight of the world on her shoulders! He eventually got off the bottle and became a daddy role model, but that was bound to change.

The visits got less and less and financially she was a mess! He couldn't give her any money-for he had found a new "honey". (Even though it was still HER heart he continued to try take) Then he stuck her with the car and payments he was supposed to make!

The visits then went from 1 (a month) to NONE (a month), the baby began to really miss him and say his name during her nap, she called "poppa!" to any stranger she saw with a cap!
...And then came the momentous court hearing. It began with attitude and escalated to threatened violence and swearing! HE stormed out, a security guard after him-ready to "bout". She was reduced to tears.


13 DAYS SINCE THE HEARING WITH NO CONTACT, 6 WEEKS SINCE YOU SAW HER-AND AFTER WHAT YOU DID YOU CALL AND EXPECT ME TO DRIVE HER TO YOU?? I DON'T THINK SO- I AM SOOO THROUGH!!!!

Garbage Pickers

So on Saturday morning,I am in my routine which consists of getting up with 20 month old, making breafast, letting out my dog at 7am. I open the basement door which leads outside and I hear strange echoing from the basement-it was just eerie. I walk down the steps and my stomach and heart completely sink to my feet. My 12yr old girl, my first-born, is sound asleep on her bed(mattress/box springs are on floor) totally SURROUNDED by 6-8" of water!! At this point I don't know what happened or if there are electrical plugs, etc. in the water; I just know I have to get her out. I trudge through the water and manage to get the drain to cooperate and slowly slowly the water begins to diminish. I get to my child, wake her up and tell her to get on my back. Of course- she has to give me resistance, because she is a preteen, but when she realizes the situation, she listens. SO- after the water takes about 3 hours to vanish, I swept all the rest into the drain, mopped, went through boxes and boxes, mopped again, threw out the bed, mopped again, threw out $250 worth of videos/dvds, and mopped. I threw out 2 couches, a tv, toys, and after 2 days of sweat, tears, non eating, not seeing my kids on my only days off b/c I had to do this, being terrified of catching horrible nasty sewer diseases, after ALL THAT these as*holes have the AUDACITY to pick threw my memories and ruined belongings??? I think it is sick, totally nasty, and completely insensitive. These people were out on SUNDAY looking at curbs-trash doesn't come until Thursday!! Man I can hear them out there RIGHT NOW-SCAVENGERS!!

Fluff

Yes it "rots your brain" and helps to develop couch potato syndrome and love handles....but I can't live without it. TV. TV. TV. I can tell you about shows, time slots, real names of the actors, even provide little tidbits that no one really even cares about. There are certain shows I can even quote episodes or give you the ORDER they appeared. My So Called Life, Roseanne, Gilmore Girls-I don't miss em. I even love Degrassi, Unfabulous, and Zoey 101 (if you know of these shows you are 13.) But believe it or not the fore mentioned is NOTHING compared to *reality shows*....................
Laguna Beach, Real World, Apprentice, Hell's Kitchen, Airplane, Dog Bounty Hunter-I love em all!
Ok big finales tonight, Big Brother and Rockstar!! Wow, where do I begin? I didn't want to watch Big Brother because, well, I hate Ivette and Maggie and neither deserved the money-but I had to. The finale was anti-climactic and I really feel let-down! Plus the host, Julie Chen, is just damn creepy.

Rockstar-wow. I was a fan of INXS from the moment I heard them and I had Shabooh Shoobah when I was 9 years old! Just hearing Don't Change and Beautiful Girl makes me cry! So I am totally ecstatic and unsurprised about the finale tonight. Although Marty was a huge favorite of mine. I love love love Trees, he sang Everlong so wonderful, and I loved how he sang all the modern stuff, the Killers, Franz Ferdinand, etc. I would've been happy if either won, but NOT MIG!!!
Man I need a life.