Life is Good...

Today I am really in a great mood. This entire week I was very sick, I had indigestion, abdominal pain to the point where I was hunched over, continuous burping w/ a strange taste in my mouth, and no desire to eat or move for that matter. (plus other symptoms I will spare you) I waited it out, still went to work and took care of my kids-because that what single moms do-and did not even work out this whole week! Today I am finally feeling more like myself, not 100% but definitely better. I feel I can work out tonight! The past year a lot has gone on in my life, and I felt like I needed to tie up some loose ends. So here we go:

-My brother Jimmy went to court several times and Monday he was found guilty on the drug possession. The drug trafficking, a felony, was absolved. He was facing major jail/prison time but was sentenced to 1 yr house arrest, 2 yrs probation. He has no car, no job, and a new girlfriend that works 2 jobs, supports him and has like 4 kids. My brother takes care of the kids, but sadly won't be able to see his own for the next yr(possibly 6 mo) unless his x-wife will agree to bring them to him. My brother is ok w/the sentencing-he was expecting much worse. We are all relieved.

-Homelife/Grandma situation- It is pretty much the same, except my uncle(60yrs old) has moved here from California and lives w/us. I suspect at the least he is smoking pot, he eats more than me and my kids put together, stays out all night sometimes, and hogs the TV. But he has been "told" to do some of the things I would normally do, the trash, the yard work, and several odds and ends around the house. BUT He shares the brunt of any hostility she may have or when she gets in her mood swings, he has defended me to her on several occasions, he is witness to everything I have told the rest of my family that they are in denial about, he occupies some of her time by playing cards w/her so it distracts her, and he is encouraging me that I can now move on b/c he will take care of her now. He says my time is up. I also talked w/ my dad and other uncle on this and let them know I am now seeking a new place to live and plan to move 6/1/06. While they are a little worried about my uncle taking care of her, and say they don't think that he will do as well of a job as I have (huh?praise??), but they realize it is time. So I have been looking for A place to live since April. It has been hard b/c I have a LG dog that my x actually wanted, when we split up I inherited the dog. But I have finally found a couple places that I like that will accept him, so I am waiting to see which place will have us. It is very exiting-they are not close to my job, but at this point more in my price range and they are very close to Caitlyn's school. I did talk to her and told her that we will have to move closer to my work-the drive is just too hard on us, esp in the winter.

-Caitlyn has been doing so much better! My whole family has commented on how she has opened up more and is more outgoing w/ them. She is no longer friends w/ one girl that her teacher actually warned me was depressed, a cutter, and over dramatic. I did not tell Caitlyn not to be her friend, but when they got into a huge fight I did encourage her to become friends w/other girls. Caitlyn is getting all A's and B's right now, she just did several writing assignments that were beautiful and she got A+'s on them.(1 was a biography on the person she admires most, me) She also made me some beautiful mother's day gifts and card, and involved her sister in it too! Don't get me wrong, we still are in the midst of teenage torture years so not EVERYTHING is rosy, but she is acting more like her old self.

-My weight loss, I am still working on it! I have lost 42 pounds and am close to my goal. I would like to lose 12 more pounds. I am still eating the same way, but exercising every day has become very tedious and boring to me. It gets harder and harder for me to walk into that gym, but still have been dragging myself there.
I was consistently losing 3 pounds a week, lately I have been losing like 1-2 pounds every 2 weeks. It is tough, but I am still committed! The only time I strayed from my diet was on Mother's day. I had a really nice steak dinner, but I worked my ass off at the gym that sat and sun to prepare for it. In those 2 days I worked off 1750 calories. Yeah, I am psychotic!

-The Len situation will never be "tied up." I feel it will always be an issue until he grows up, I mean we have a child together. Lately I have been pretty much avoiding him. He has given me crap about various things per usual. His latest is that he wrecked his new 2006 car and says he does not have the $500 for the deductible so he is surrendering it. He has no car and I have no idea how he is getting to work. He tried to guilt me into taking him saying he will get fired and I won't get child support from him, I said no. So now he is saying he is enlisting in the army and will be leaving in 3-4 weeks. (If I only had a dollar for everytime he has told me that...)We'll see

-My love live is the same. What love life? I don't have one! I did go out for drinks w/my dad a month or so ago, but that's really it. I talk to a couple guys at my gym and at work, but that's about it. I am ok with it right now though. I am working a lot on myself and getting to like myself again, plus my kids get all my attention. Although it is lonely at times with no male in my life, it has been a long time since I did not have one in my life. I am excited about my future and can't wait to start the next chapters of our life. (my daughters' and I)

-Work is good. I am coming up on my year with the company. I had made a commitment to stay in this position for 1 year, so once that is up my possibilities are endless! Also this is the time that they will offer tuition reimbursement as well so I am excited about that. I have no college education at all and am anxious to have that opportunity to even take online courses to better my career. It could be nothing but a bonus. I have been volunteering for anything that comes my way, committees, focus group, training sessions, etc. So we will see!

THE OFFICE-WOW!!

My favorite show is the Office,(that and Scrubs)- it is on Thursday nights. Since I work out every night at 8pm I miss a lot of my favorite shows. Luckily the Office is on at 9pm so I still get to see it. I have been watching it for awhile. I hope some of you watch it too because I really want to discuss what happened last night on the season finale.
OK, WOW! So Jim FINALLY told Pam how he felt and kissed her??!! So what does that mean? Is she gonna call off her wedding now or just not talk to Jim anymore? Will he take that transfer based on her answer? What will happen to the chemistry of the show if they DO wind up getting into a relationship? Will it really be that good anymore? I love the drama of their story and don't want it to be ruined by them just getting together and becoming boyfriend /girlfriend and lose all of their intrigue. OH I just can't wait until September! Plus that whole thing w/Roy asking the band to play at his wedding-hilarious! What was up with Jan bringing an overnight bag to the event, too? Was she gonna hook up w/Michael again? I guess so. The most hilarious part was when Dwight was playing poker and said whenever Jim coughed that was his tell and that meant he had a good hand. Then Jim was like, "Funniest thing whenever I cough Dwight folds."
I love the Office and if you have never watched it I suggest you start this summer when all the reruns are on-you will get hooked! It is the funniest show on TV! (also Scrubs)

Oh how I LOVE those rock stars!

What is it about rock stars? Something about them makes me "swoon" for lack of a better term. They are so charismatic and their confidence or cockiness is like a magnet to me. I love going to a live rock show and watching the band, the guitarists hold their guitars like they are a part of themselves, the drummers pound their sticks with such intensity, and the lead singer, I can't even tell you...
I am OBSESSED with music, always have been. It is my ultimate mood enhancer/motivator. When I see a live show, even if it is a crappy band (sometimes), they just capture all of my attention and completely move me. I have dated a few rockers in my past. They were like IT to me when I dated them, I went to shows, I was their #1 fan. I had their demos in my car and would play them over and over and over until they broke. (tapes-lol) It was totally exciting to be in that scene and if I had any sort of musical talent whether playing an instrument or singing, that is what I would have done with my life. Sometimes I think I should be a Radio DJ or something but A.Could I really think of 4 hrs of things to be witty about and B. They make shitty money. SO I am stuck in the real world of jobs. I often wonder about the guys I dated, are they now successful rock stars, do they still have their bands at all?? Who knows but hindsight is 20/20 and I can now see that some of the guys that I was so wrapped up in I gave WAY too much credit. Yeah they had the talent, but were they really "ALL THAT?" I don't think so!
Anyhow, so last night I took my daughter to the BLack Clouds and Underdogs tour at Blossom. The bands were Fall Out Boy, Hawthorne Heights, All American Rejects, and From First to Last. I was a semi-fan of a few of those bands, and we actually missed a couple of them because of traffic. We got to see All American Rejects and Fall Out Boy, which was the headliner. OK let me tell you, they were amazing live. They made me a little mad because they would talk to the crowd and said a lot of swear words, which is to be expected but I was a little shocked I guess because I was there with my daughter and it was am all ages show. Plus I probably never even realized when they would do that. Anyhow, they made me laugh because they said, "We wanna hear all the boys in the pit!" Very small response. "We wanna hear all the girls in the pit!" HUGE response. "Ok let's rephrase the first question. We wanna hear from all the boys in the pit that came because their girlfriends made them." Big response. "But did we get you laid??" ..."You're welcome." It was too funny.
But the show-wow I love love loved it! I was ready to go to groupie/worship status like I would do as I saw shows in my "younger years". Ha ha. I wanted to borrow my daughter's cd when we got home! My daughter is pretty cool-like she doesn't show a lot of emotion, she's pretty controlled in that way. She doesn't like to cry or show excitement a lot. Her friend that was with us is the same. So it was SOOOO satisfying to see her actually doing a little bit of "dancing or swaying, " clapping her hands and enjoying herself. Her friend still stayed a statue, whatever. I was dancing too!

Please help make a difference!

It's that time again, time to vote. I have been very vocal before about my thoughts on voting, so I wanted to get this reminder out and share a story. So tomorrow is election day. I don't know about your area, but in mine there are several issues on the ballot that affect schools in my city and social services, the library, etc. There is also a vote for governor as well which I am heavily opinionated about but will not get into! No there is NO PRESIDENTIAL election, but this time is even more important to vote because it directly affects your community! It is just so important to exercise the rights we have in our ever-changing country before we they are taken from us. Please do it!
As for my story...

In my city there has been a lot of controversy because of these 3 judges. They retired their post and are now collecting their retirement pensions. Well, they decided that they would run AGAIN this year to get their posts back. EVEN THOUGH they are retired, EVEN THOUGH they are collecting their pensions! They wanted to get elected to their posts again and begin earning their salaries on top of everything else. So you might be thinking, why get worked up over this, who would vote for them? I am astounded by the # of supporters they have. This subject came about months ago, and now it's like people just forgot about it. Well I was disgusted and decided that I would not vote for them on principal, but I was a little unsure which judges I would vote for. They all stood for issues that I believed in, but no one really stood out. Yesterday we had a knock at the door and it was one of the judges walking through the neighborhood to talk to people. He was dressed in a nice white shirt and dockers and had kinda slicked back hair and right away I was like, "Oh brother." He was giving me his speel and he had a little boy with him. I said oh I see you have a helper and he said it was his nephew. Now on the pamphlet he handed me he had a nice picture of his family but they were not with him. I kinda looked funny at him about it I guess because he right away said "Oh I have an army walking around the neighborhood, my family is there-you probably saw them walking around." I said no I hadn't. Anyways, we talked briefly about his biggest issue and what he stands for and briefly talked about the city. He told me his background, it was funny, I felt like I was interviewing him for a job, which I kinda was. I thought he sounded good but still wasn't really sure if he would get my vote. OK so later the girls and I went on a long walk all around the neighborhood. We went to the beach across the street and there were a few picnics there. I noticed that judge and his "army" was in force there. They had a big spread with grills hamburgers, hot dogs, etc. It was like the whole campaign team there. In the middle of it all, white sleeves rolled up, surrounded by 15-20 kids, there is that same judge throwing a football to the kids and frisbees. They were not like, "on display" it seemed so genuine. I looked at that and smiled and thought, buddy you got my vote!! (I have also swayed some of my family to vote for him too. FYI his name is Jeffrey Smith 7th ward Lorain, Ohio)