Life is Good...

Today I am really in a great mood. This entire week I was very sick, I had indigestion, abdominal pain to the point where I was hunched over, continuous burping w/ a strange taste in my mouth, and no desire to eat or move for that matter. (plus other symptoms I will spare you) I waited it out, still went to work and took care of my kids-because that what single moms do-and did not even work out this whole week! Today I am finally feeling more like myself, not 100% but definitely better. I feel I can work out tonight! The past year a lot has gone on in my life, and I felt like I needed to tie up some loose ends. So here we go:

-My brother Jimmy went to court several times and Monday he was found guilty on the drug possession. The drug trafficking, a felony, was absolved. He was facing major jail/prison time but was sentenced to 1 yr house arrest, 2 yrs probation. He has no car, no job, and a new girlfriend that works 2 jobs, supports him and has like 4 kids. My brother takes care of the kids, but sadly won't be able to see his own for the next yr(possibly 6 mo) unless his x-wife will agree to bring them to him. My brother is ok w/the sentencing-he was expecting much worse. We are all relieved.

-Homelife/Grandma situation- It is pretty much the same, except my uncle(60yrs old) has moved here from California and lives w/us. I suspect at the least he is smoking pot, he eats more than me and my kids put together, stays out all night sometimes, and hogs the TV. But he has been "told" to do some of the things I would normally do, the trash, the yard work, and several odds and ends around the house. BUT He shares the brunt of any hostility she may have or when she gets in her mood swings, he has defended me to her on several occasions, he is witness to everything I have told the rest of my family that they are in denial about, he occupies some of her time by playing cards w/her so it distracts her, and he is encouraging me that I can now move on b/c he will take care of her now. He says my time is up. I also talked w/ my dad and other uncle on this and let them know I am now seeking a new place to live and plan to move 6/1/06. While they are a little worried about my uncle taking care of her, and say they don't think that he will do as well of a job as I have (huh?praise??), but they realize it is time. So I have been looking for A place to live since April. It has been hard b/c I have a LG dog that my x actually wanted, when we split up I inherited the dog. But I have finally found a couple places that I like that will accept him, so I am waiting to see which place will have us. It is very exiting-they are not close to my job, but at this point more in my price range and they are very close to Caitlyn's school. I did talk to her and told her that we will have to move closer to my work-the drive is just too hard on us, esp in the winter.

-Caitlyn has been doing so much better! My whole family has commented on how she has opened up more and is more outgoing w/ them. She is no longer friends w/ one girl that her teacher actually warned me was depressed, a cutter, and over dramatic. I did not tell Caitlyn not to be her friend, but when they got into a huge fight I did encourage her to become friends w/other girls. Caitlyn is getting all A's and B's right now, she just did several writing assignments that were beautiful and she got A+'s on them.(1 was a biography on the person she admires most, me) She also made me some beautiful mother's day gifts and card, and involved her sister in it too! Don't get me wrong, we still are in the midst of teenage torture years so not EVERYTHING is rosy, but she is acting more like her old self.

-My weight loss, I am still working on it! I have lost 42 pounds and am close to my goal. I would like to lose 12 more pounds. I am still eating the same way, but exercising every day has become very tedious and boring to me. It gets harder and harder for me to walk into that gym, but still have been dragging myself there.
I was consistently losing 3 pounds a week, lately I have been losing like 1-2 pounds every 2 weeks. It is tough, but I am still committed! The only time I strayed from my diet was on Mother's day. I had a really nice steak dinner, but I worked my ass off at the gym that sat and sun to prepare for it. In those 2 days I worked off 1750 calories. Yeah, I am psychotic!

-The Len situation will never be "tied up." I feel it will always be an issue until he grows up, I mean we have a child together. Lately I have been pretty much avoiding him. He has given me crap about various things per usual. His latest is that he wrecked his new 2006 car and says he does not have the $500 for the deductible so he is surrendering it. He has no car and I have no idea how he is getting to work. He tried to guilt me into taking him saying he will get fired and I won't get child support from him, I said no. So now he is saying he is enlisting in the army and will be leaving in 3-4 weeks. (If I only had a dollar for everytime he has told me that...)We'll see

-My love live is the same. What love life? I don't have one! I did go out for drinks w/my dad a month or so ago, but that's really it. I talk to a couple guys at my gym and at work, but that's about it. I am ok with it right now though. I am working a lot on myself and getting to like myself again, plus my kids get all my attention. Although it is lonely at times with no male in my life, it has been a long time since I did not have one in my life. I am excited about my future and can't wait to start the next chapters of our life. (my daughters' and I)

-Work is good. I am coming up on my year with the company. I had made a commitment to stay in this position for 1 year, so once that is up my possibilities are endless! Also this is the time that they will offer tuition reimbursement as well so I am excited about that. I have no college education at all and am anxious to have that opportunity to even take online courses to better my career. It could be nothing but a bonus. I have been volunteering for anything that comes my way, committees, focus group, training sessions, etc. So we will see!