Such pioneers...

Too many problems,
Oh why I am here?
I need to be me 'cos,
You're all too clear!
And I can see,
There's something wrong with you!
But what do you expect me to do?
At least I gotta know what I wanna be,
Don't come to me if you need pity!
Are you lonely?
You got no one!
You get your body in sus-pen-sion,

That's a Problem,
Problem,
Problem.
The problem is you!

Eat your heart out,
on a plastic tray,
You don't do what you want,
And tou'll fade away
You won't find me,
Working nine to five
It's too much fun,
A being alive!
I'm using my feet for,
My human machine.
You won't find me living for the screen!
Are you lonely,
all needs catered.
You've got your brains dehydrated!

Problem,
Problem,
Problem.
The problem is you!
Oh whatcha gonna do?!
Problem!

(Quirky-like)Problem.

(Guitar Break)

Problem,
Problem,
Problem.
The problem is you!
Oh whatcha gonna do?!
Where's your Problem?!
The problem is you!
Problem!

I'm a death grip(?)
But I ain't automatic.
You won't find me,
Just staying static.
Don't you give me any orders.
For people like me,
There is no order!
Bet you thought you had it all worked out?!
Bet you thought you knew what I was about?!
Bet you thought you solved all your problems?!
But you are the prob-lem!

Problem,
Problem,
Problem.
The problem is you!
Oh watcha gonna do?!
With your problem!
I'll leave it to you!
A Problem!
The problem is you!
You've got a problem!
Oh watcha gonna do!

They know a doctor,
Gonna take you away!
They'll take you away an',
They'll throw away the key.
They don't want you,
And they don't want me.
You've got a problem,
The problem is you!
Problem!
Oh watcha you gonna do?!
Problem!
Oh you've got a problem!
A Problem!
Oh you've got a problem!
A Problem!


Translation?...Live life to the fullest, love yourself and every day. If you have problems it is your fault if they get you down. How you deal with your problems determines your happiness.

I have had so many things happen to me in the past couple of weeks, yet I can't believe that my spirits have remained so up.
It started when I got a tire blow out on the highway about 35 miles from my house during rush hour traffic at about 5:15pm. I tried to change it but I couldn't get the jack to work, I called and called people and no one I knew could help me. I finally called a couple towing companies and after about 45 min of trying I was able to find one that would come out and help me. He said he would meet me in 1 hr. About 45 min later ( and not one car stopping to help I might add) a cop pulled up and tried to help. He was able to get my jack to work and had a little trouble getting the tire off. At that time the tow truck pulled up. He was able to get the tire off and put my spare on, which was flat. Luckily for me he was able to get that temp fixed so I could at least drive home. I went to get my youngest, who was luckily at her dad's house and not at day care which closes at 6:30pm. It was now 7:00pm. I got her and then went right to Walmart, the only tire place that was reasonable and open. I pulled up at 8:08pm, they closed at 8:30. They gave me kinda a look like, you're too late. I explained the situation to them and they agreed to fit me in. By this time we were starving so we rushed over to the Walmart snack bar to eat something real quick. By the time we sat down I saw it was 8:30 so we rushed back to get the car and paid more money than I could afford in my budget, and then finally went home. Of course my poor oldest was at home starving too so I finally brought her Wendy's at 9:00pm and gave my youngest, who's bedtime is 8:00, a bath. I was finally able to relax at about 9:45 after leaving the house at 7:15am.
The next day I recieved a notice from the child care dept that my child care financial aid I have been getting for the past 11 months would be cut off in 2 weeks. My payment for child care will now be only $75 less than my monthly rent, which is not low.
The next day I talked to my oldest daughter's father and he told me his mom, whom at one point was a second mother to me, an AMAZING person, and I absolutely love her, has had a mental breakdown. She has a disease called Malogyn's ( spelling?) disease where she thinks there are parasites everywhere and scours her body, as well as her mouth, with bleach, etc several times a day. They might be committing her to a mental hospital, and he can no longer live near her and watch her kill herself (his words) so he is moving to upstate Florida and my oldest will now not be able to visit him this summer, even though she has not seen him in over a year now. He also said he has no address or job when he moves there, which will be at the beginning of August, so he would send me child support as soon as he could.
Plus I found out that my mother is drinking again after having a long problem with alcohol and not drinking for 5 years and after leaving her husband she is now having problems paying her bills, rent, and is having heart problems. She had a heart catheterisation and didn't tell me till a few days before, and drove herself to the hospital and home.
My oldest daughter has gotten into a little bit of trouble lately and I came home a couple times to notice my house, which is normally disgustingly and annoyingly in perfect order, had things subtly out of place, my food is almost all eaten, my camera was broken, and someone was in my closet going through my things. So she was punished but the friends continue to eat my food, I noticed last night and finally got my daughter to admit to, even after I have told her about 17 times that is NOT allowed unless they are staying the night as a guest. She is afraid to say no. Plus last week while I was taking her to an ortho appointment, someone was in our house, ate food and threw away the wrappers in the trash, and stole a 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice that I had had in the refrigerator for the past month. No one has been identified yet but I think it was her (now ex) boyfriend that was never allowed in the house to begin with.

Problems?? Yeah but I don't know why, I am very very happy still. I am just so thankful for my life and my children and everything that I have. I think maybe these things happened for a reason, even to prevent other, worse things, from happening. Sure I have a lot of worries, and I have been working on the money issue and think I have resolved it for a little bit, but I don't know, I am still happy. I used to get majorly, MAJORLY depressed when things like this happened. I turned to food and living in my sorrow to cope with it. Things are different now. I am happy.

The song I quoted? Well I made a mixed cd for my brother's 30th birthday and decided to put only songs we used to listen to. I remembered this song and have not been able to get it out of my head. It is the Sex Pistols- Problems.