Live and Learn TOO

Karma can be a very satisfying thing!!!!!!!

While I truly appreciate all of your comments and respect your advice on my prev post (Live and Learn), I chose NOT to get a restraining order, and NOT to tell Len never to talk to me again, and NOT to arrange a third party meeting. I have had a restraining order on someone before, and it is not obtained as easily as just saying he is calling me a lot and giving me gifts and manipulating me. I truly do want to have a civil relationship with him FOR THE SAKE OF OUR DAUGHTER. I simply ignored all calls that came in while she was not awake, and avoided his pleas for me to go to his house WITHOUT my daughter, and shot down his requests to "hang out with me." He can be very scary and volcanic, but I have not put myself in a position where he can not do that to me anymore. I really have my memories to thank. They keep me strong and remind me of the reasons why not!
So, I was at the mall buying Gabriella her dress for her 2nd birthday pics, when he called. I answered and we spoke about her birthday for a minute. Then he told me he had relapsed with his drinking but he had stopped again.(?) He apologized to me and I said I was not who he needed to apologize to! He needed to apologize to himself, his daughter, his girlfriend... That's when he told me he had broken up with his girlfriend. (so obvious) He wanted to talk more but I said I had to go. So yesterday on my way home from work he calls, and I ignore it. He called back and I remember he was checking at his job if he could leave early on a certain day and I was going to plan a party for Gabriella. I decided to answer to find out if he had the time. When I talked to him he confessed that his girlfriend had said she didn't want to live with him anymore and couldn't handle managing money or paying bills. She wanted to move back with her mom and still date him, but just not live together. Well, I guess they have a lease, and they have only lived together for 2 months maybe. So he broke up with her because she stuck him with all the bills and the lease for an apartment he can't afford! Now he doesn't have money for a birthday present for Gabriella or maybe even gas to come to her party. (yes he pays child support-only because it is taken out of his pay) I feel bad that he can't come to her party, Gabriella absolutely worships him. But I'm almost, ALMOST ashamed to say the pleasure and satisfaction I got from that news. For a lot of our relationship he stuck me with bills, responsibilities, and payments when at times he didn't even have a job, or he "had to" buy work clothes with his check, etc. He stuck me with managing all the money, and then would bitch at me if we didn't have money for something he wanted-even when he didn't contribute! There were times in our relationship that he said he wanted to move back to his parents and couldn't handle the pressure of paying bills, etc. I could laugh out loud right now, except for the Gabriella factor. I promised myself I would NEVER EVER speak negatively about my children's fathers, no matter what they did. That I would never "shatter" their image that they have for their dads, but let them form it on their own. Right now she is a 2yr old, a baby, she only knows that Poppa is the coolest, and I don't want to hurt that. So, I basically am stuck in this conundrum right now. But one thing I will never forget I promise you, is that I NEVER want to be in a relationship or any romantic way with him and I won't forget the past!