Under the Tuscan Sun

God I love that movie. It's one of those movies that you might forget about, but when it's on you have to watch it. It stars Diane Lane, who I love. She is a great actress! It was on the family channel last night so I watched it. In the movie her husband divorces her and she is devastated. Her friends who are a lesbian couple finally get her out for dinner. They tell her that one of them is pregnant so they can't take the trip to Italy they had booked and are giving it to her. She says she doesn't want to go because it will upset her seeing all the men and couples, etc. They tell her it is a trip for gay people so she goes. She sees this home for sale called Bramasole and she instinctively tries to buy it, the owner already has a couple trying to buy it and she could not pay as much as they could. The owner basically laughed at her then a pigeon pooped on her and the owner saw that as a sign and sold it to her. I'm not gonna go into anymore of the movie but you gotta see it. It is so moving and I really love the ending too!

**oh by the way** if you get paid biweekly there are only 6 more paydays till Christmas!! Just thought I'd let ya know...

The day has finally come.....!

I have been patiently waiting for this day for so long now and it is finally here! My stomach is in knots, I'm so nervous and excited. I am dying with anticipation! What is this day, my wedding? NO it is the season premiere of the Office!!! Yes my life is that dull and pathetic that THIS is what I've been waiting for. But still, have you ever watched it? So you know why I am so excited! I can't wait to see what happens after the kiss between Pam and Jim. What happens to their relationship? Does she still marry Roy? Does Jim take the trandfer job? I love it! I know that Jenna Fischer put a "teaser" on her my space-a picture Of Roy with a wedding band on his hand. Is that a spoiler or to mislead us?! We will find out tonight!! I was joking with my daughter last night and said I was going to rearrange our living room to look like an office and that she and I should dress with a skirt and button down tops like we are going to work in our office, she gave me this look like I was the lamest person ever. It is funny that she didn't get that I was JOKING!!! (kinda) Oh man I put in request to leave work early so I can get dinner, dishes, bath, baby in bed, etc so I will have NO interruptions!! Don't try to call me tonight at all because I am also almost as excited about watching ER too!
Another thing I am excited about is that they moved Grey's Anatomy to tonight too-I am totally into that show also! I watched the season finale of that again last night and was crying so hard, even though I knew what was gonna happen. But I love the end of that one where Finn and McDreamy are both like, Meredith...Man I can't wait!! Oh anyone playing AOL goldrush too? I'm totally into that game right now and I am looking for goldbuddies. I am pretty good!

My Gorgeous Girls!!!

Caitlyn is the oldest, she will be 13 in 3 weeks. Gabriella is 2 1/2-she will be 3 the 2nd week in January!

Things I Never Thought I'd Do before I Had kids!

Well I'll just jump on this blog topic band wagon........

1.SNOOP! Go through my kids' letters, emails, phone, room, you name it

2.Get up every day before 8am (I would LOVE to be able to sleep in that LATE)

3.Give my 2 year old chips or candy

4.Call my kids by a nick name instead of the name I gave them!

5.The ever-so-famous catching puke w/bare hands move

6.Use hand-me-downs and even buy clothes from thrift stores or garage sales

7.Use the phrase, "Because I said so!"

8.Play kids music in my car and even sing the songs while at work

9.Hate, no despise, no LOATHE my daughter's friends

10.Get a "fast one" pulled on me and not know until much, much later

Such pioneers...

Too many problems,
Oh why I am here?
I need to be me 'cos,
You're all too clear!
And I can see,
There's something wrong with you!
But what do you expect me to do?
At least I gotta know what I wanna be,
Don't come to me if you need pity!
Are you lonely?
You got no one!
You get your body in sus-pen-sion,

That's a Problem,
Problem,
Problem.
The problem is you!

Eat your heart out,
on a plastic tray,
You don't do what you want,
And tou'll fade away
You won't find me,
Working nine to five
It's too much fun,
A being alive!
I'm using my feet for,
My human machine.
You won't find me living for the screen!
Are you lonely,
all needs catered.
You've got your brains dehydrated!

Problem,
Problem,
Problem.
The problem is you!
Oh whatcha gonna do?!
Problem!

(Quirky-like)Problem.

(Guitar Break)

Problem,
Problem,
Problem.
The problem is you!
Oh whatcha gonna do?!
Where's your Problem?!
The problem is you!
Problem!

I'm a death grip(?)
But I ain't automatic.
You won't find me,
Just staying static.
Don't you give me any orders.
For people like me,
There is no order!
Bet you thought you had it all worked out?!
Bet you thought you knew what I was about?!
Bet you thought you solved all your problems?!
But you are the prob-lem!

Problem,
Problem,
Problem.
The problem is you!
Oh watcha gonna do?!
With your problem!
I'll leave it to you!
A Problem!
The problem is you!
You've got a problem!
Oh watcha gonna do!

They know a doctor,
Gonna take you away!
They'll take you away an',
They'll throw away the key.
They don't want you,
And they don't want me.
You've got a problem,
The problem is you!
Problem!
Oh watcha you gonna do?!
Problem!
Oh you've got a problem!
A Problem!
Oh you've got a problem!
A Problem!


Translation?...Live life to the fullest, love yourself and every day. If you have problems it is your fault if they get you down. How you deal with your problems determines your happiness.

I have had so many things happen to me in the past couple of weeks, yet I can't believe that my spirits have remained so up.
It started when I got a tire blow out on the highway about 35 miles from my house during rush hour traffic at about 5:15pm. I tried to change it but I couldn't get the jack to work, I called and called people and no one I knew could help me. I finally called a couple towing companies and after about 45 min of trying I was able to find one that would come out and help me. He said he would meet me in 1 hr. About 45 min later ( and not one car stopping to help I might add) a cop pulled up and tried to help. He was able to get my jack to work and had a little trouble getting the tire off. At that time the tow truck pulled up. He was able to get the tire off and put my spare on, which was flat. Luckily for me he was able to get that temp fixed so I could at least drive home. I went to get my youngest, who was luckily at her dad's house and not at day care which closes at 6:30pm. It was now 7:00pm. I got her and then went right to Walmart, the only tire place that was reasonable and open. I pulled up at 8:08pm, they closed at 8:30. They gave me kinda a look like, you're too late. I explained the situation to them and they agreed to fit me in. By this time we were starving so we rushed over to the Walmart snack bar to eat something real quick. By the time we sat down I saw it was 8:30 so we rushed back to get the car and paid more money than I could afford in my budget, and then finally went home. Of course my poor oldest was at home starving too so I finally brought her Wendy's at 9:00pm and gave my youngest, who's bedtime is 8:00, a bath. I was finally able to relax at about 9:45 after leaving the house at 7:15am.
The next day I recieved a notice from the child care dept that my child care financial aid I have been getting for the past 11 months would be cut off in 2 weeks. My payment for child care will now be only $75 less than my monthly rent, which is not low.
The next day I talked to my oldest daughter's father and he told me his mom, whom at one point was a second mother to me, an AMAZING person, and I absolutely love her, has had a mental breakdown. She has a disease called Malogyn's ( spelling?) disease where she thinks there are parasites everywhere and scours her body, as well as her mouth, with bleach, etc several times a day. They might be committing her to a mental hospital, and he can no longer live near her and watch her kill herself (his words) so he is moving to upstate Florida and my oldest will now not be able to visit him this summer, even though she has not seen him in over a year now. He also said he has no address or job when he moves there, which will be at the beginning of August, so he would send me child support as soon as he could.
Plus I found out that my mother is drinking again after having a long problem with alcohol and not drinking for 5 years and after leaving her husband she is now having problems paying her bills, rent, and is having heart problems. She had a heart catheterisation and didn't tell me till a few days before, and drove herself to the hospital and home.
My oldest daughter has gotten into a little bit of trouble lately and I came home a couple times to notice my house, which is normally disgustingly and annoyingly in perfect order, had things subtly out of place, my food is almost all eaten, my camera was broken, and someone was in my closet going through my things. So she was punished but the friends continue to eat my food, I noticed last night and finally got my daughter to admit to, even after I have told her about 17 times that is NOT allowed unless they are staying the night as a guest. She is afraid to say no. Plus last week while I was taking her to an ortho appointment, someone was in our house, ate food and threw away the wrappers in the trash, and stole a 6 pack of Smirnoff Ice that I had had in the refrigerator for the past month. No one has been identified yet but I think it was her (now ex) boyfriend that was never allowed in the house to begin with.

Problems?? Yeah but I don't know why, I am very very happy still. I am just so thankful for my life and my children and everything that I have. I think maybe these things happened for a reason, even to prevent other, worse things, from happening. Sure I have a lot of worries, and I have been working on the money issue and think I have resolved it for a little bit, but I don't know, I am still happy. I used to get majorly, MAJORLY depressed when things like this happened. I turned to food and living in my sorrow to cope with it. Things are different now. I am happy.

The song I quoted? Well I made a mixed cd for my brother's 30th birthday and decided to put only songs we used to listen to. I remembered this song and have not been able to get it out of my head. It is the Sex Pistols- Problems.

Where is my head?

OK So I forgot one!!!!!

Tied for 2nd place....David Blaine...he is so cocky and confident and totally charismatic! He is so talented with his magic and super hot too. He ties for 2nd place with John Krasinski.

Top 10 candidates for position of my boyfriend

I watched that movie "My Date With Drew" last night and it inspired me.I am currently in the process of looking for a new boyfriend. Here is a prospective list of the top 10. Single/married, taken/available, it really doesn't matter, right?
So anyone reading this-if you have the means please feel free to try to help hook it up for a poor girl!

10...Jon Favreau...Probably the most unexpected on my list.He is a funny guy! I loved him in "Swingers" and "Love & Sex"-funny guys are a turn-on!

9...Tate Donovan..."Love potion #9", the voice of Hercules in the Disney movie-that good-guy persona, whata sweetie!

8...Jeff Goldblum...I have taken crap for this over the years! I can't explain it-something about him!I loved him in the movie "9 Months"

7...Dennis Quaid...he is a hot older guy! Stable-well adjusted?

6...Adam Brody...something about his dumb lisp and cute/funny ways just gets me.But really- I AM NOT an OC fan I swear.

5...Brad Pitt...yeah he's still rates. Look at him-need I say more??

4...Brandon Boyd...rock stars-uh huh. He is the lead singer for Incubus but of course dates only skinny models.

3...Zack Braff...what a funny guy, I constantly laugh when I watch him on "Scrubs" or even in interviews.Plus how creative-he WROTE/STARRED IN/DEVELOPED THE SOUNDTRACK for the movie "Garden State"

2...John Krasinski...OK not only do we share the same birthday (not year though-he's a tad bit younger!), he seems so down to earth-which makes me think , "If only we met-I'd have a chance!", and if he's anything like his character in "The Office"...swoon


1...OF COURSE...Jared Leto-yeah he's a TOTAL womanizer, but I just can't get over "Jordan Catalano", and now a rock star to boot??!!! The question is- could I really get over Lindsey's (and now Jessica Simpson's) leftovers? Um-probably.

I need to get a life.

Settling In!

So we have been in our new house for almost 2 weeks and I love it. It is so nice to have all the space and we are able to bond more as a family without all the "outside interference" and people trying to "butt in." My girls have been adjusting-they have had their ups and downs. So have I-it has definitely been different for us and we have had a LOT going on! From struggling w/the dog and cat's needs, to writing the rules for Caitlyn being home alone as we go, to Gabriella's persistence w/ going UP and DOwn, Up ANd DOwn the stairs- and especially not getting cable/dsl hooked up for 8 DAYS! It has been hard. My grandma is sad and I worry about her all the time. She calls a lot, I had her over for the day last Sunday, I made sure Caitlyn called her the other day too. She called last night and said she wanted to see us and missed us. I told her we would visit Friday. She also told me that my uncle hasn't been home until after 11 at night all week-which really irritates me. Someone needs to be there to make sure she eats and takes her medicine and quite frankly doesn't burn the house down or get hurt. She told me the other day she tried to make Chicken Paprikas and thought the stove was on simmer but it was on high-she burned the food, the stove burner and the pan-she had to throw out the pan and the stove burner because they were so badly burned. No one will listen to me-most of all her- SHE HAS NO BUSINESS COOKING OR USING HER STOVE AT ALL!! I am so scared that something bad is going to happen to her. The weekend I moved Gabriella ate lunch over there and my grandma warmed her something up in the toaster oven before she spent the day w/Len's mom. I was at my grandma's about 3-4 hrs later, and the toaster oven was STILL on! I purposely mentioned it to her in front of my uncles, and she joked about it and my other uncle just said, "Mom you need to be careful about those things." Ok sure.
So-my workouts-they have stopped. I went from working out daily to not at all in the past like 3 weeks. I have tried to workout at home a few times, I have an exercise bike I've gone on twice and I do crunches and stuff every night, but it is so not the same. I still continue to lose weight, which amazes me. I have not been as careful w/ my diet and upped my calories to 1600+-still way below normal, but I had a cookie the other day, last week I had some wendy's fries, again not NEARLY as careful. But on a great note- I have been wearing my old shorts, they fit me perfectly. SIZE 6-my goal has been achieved! So really now all I have to do is tone. Easy, right? sure. I definitely need to get in some sort of fitness routine because my unpacking is done, the move is complete-I'm sure all that really helped w/ my fitness, so I don't want to stray at all. You can be at a good weight and still be out of shape or in poor health, which I do not want to do!
Caitlyn has been a trooper-again good days and bad days, c'mon she is 12 1/2. She is so good about keeping the house clean, making sure the dog goes out, not wasting electricity, cleaning up after self-which is SO NOT her. I think she appreciates that this is our house and not just us living at my grandma's. She has some friends that live 1 street directly behind us, and between our houses there is just a parking lot of a church so we can view each other perfectly w/not obstruction. The girls (sisters) are good kids, their mom is a Lorain cop. But yesterday after telling Caitlyn 3 times already I realized that those kids are eating me out of house and home. They went through 1 whole box of mini-pizzas, 1 box of Lean Pockets (guess whose), 16-yes 16 fudgesicles, 3 smuckers cheese sandwiches, etc etc and not all from yesterday, but most from yesterday. Plus Caitlyn has had a few visitors come over to hang out and play volleyball at night, besides these girls a boy has come over which I think is her boyfriend, but of course she will not admit it. I know what you are thinking-I don't think that the boy has come over during the day, I have specifically told her no boys over and no one over without me knowing, and I also told her (fib) that I had an agreement w/the neighbors and they were watching the house to see if anyone was coming over-then last night I said the neighbors (fib) said there were kids over and she said "Yes! Caitie and Alexis!I told you about that!" I know she is telling the truth. Plus I said that my dad and uncle were going to drive by the house every day to see what was going on too.
(fib) But we continue to come across new things daily-now her phone is not working so I have no contact w/her. The first day we discovered it wasn't working and I asked her why she didn't use her friend's phone to call me, she said she didn't think of it. Yesterday I left her money for the payphone, she never called. She said that the friends' mom had her phone-which I did try to call & it was turned off, & she said that she did not find the money. So today we are trying it again. I gave her money and said she MUST call me 3 times, and if she doesn't she will be going to my grandma's house all next week. So far she has called me once! The problem with her phone is-long story short-her new camera phone I got her was stolen so she is stuck w/ one from my stepmom from like 2001. It is horrible and I think I need to get a new battery. We have already had so many problems I have taken it to Verizon twice already. But a free phone is a free phone, so what else can I do? If the battery is a lot I might just get her a new one again, but I told her there is no way I am getting her another camera phone again! That was nicer than mine and she only had it for 6 days! I s/w the principal several times because it was stolen in school-she knew who it was, I talked to the kid that night he was dumb enough to answer the phone before I finally had it cut off, we filed a police report, etc. We had no proof so the kid, who was suspended for something else like 2 days later, so he probably ditched the phone and he got away with it. I feel so bad because she loved that phone and she is so trusting and naive sometimes. She was probably messing around with it and he saw her, the teacher asked for her help to hang something in the hall and in her next class she realized that it was gone. So we are stuck w/ the Craporola hand me down.
Ok I guess I am getting back to work now. I have some funny stories to share about my new neighbors that I will write about next week!

Moving Day!

After so long it is finally coming, and not a moment too soon. In retrospect I am in no way the same person that I was that long 20 months ago. I think about when it finally clicked and I told my boyfriend of five + years, father of my youngest child, that it was over FOR REAL, that since he wouldn't leave we were. Wow that was so hard, I was so depressed (understatement) at that time. I had gained almost 54 pounds, didn't care about myself to wear any makeup, dress nicely, and barely brushed my hair. I had a highly stressful job as a store manager where my boss was on my ass constantly, everyone was a back stabber, I worked an average of 55-60 hrs plus drive time of 1 hr 30 min round trip per day, work nights/weekends/holidays, and my staff called me constantly with stupid questions and situations that they should have handled on their own. I cried daily and just felt so sorry for myself, I was such a downer and so cynical. Len still had control of me. It hurts to think and remember myself that way, as I said I am completely different now.
Where I cried daily or multiple times daily, now I would say I rarely cry. I have lost 45 pounds and eat healthy and exercise daily. I have a new career in insurance where I work 8:30-5 mon-fri, ( I still have the drive though), Len no longer has control of me, and although I still have not technically been on a date or anything (since 1999)-it is ok, I am happy, I try to be upbeat and positive, and doing so I think I am a better mother and role model to my children. Life is again exciting to me-just to see what is coming next. I do wear make-up and brush my hair again! WOOHOO! I care about my appearance and just generally try to take better care of myself. I am happy to have my life and appreciate that everything that has happened has brought me to this moment and made me the person I am. Although I have been through a lot of tough situations, it has really helped me to become stronger.

SO-the move!!
Yes we are moving this weekend! We are still going to be in the same town, which is good and bad. It is a 2 story 3 bedroom house with a huge backyard and big pantry. My dog and cat won't be forced to life in the basement, there is a huge front porch and flower beds too! I am a big believer in things happen for a reason and destiny, so here is the story!
When Len and I moved into our old house in 2000, we had been looking for a while and finally found our house. It wasn't great-but it was a house. So after we moved in and got all settled, my brother and his wife started looking to move. They lived in this huge 3 bedroom house in the same town, but wanted to move the next town over. When they finally found a house, and they said their landlord, who happened to live right next door to them, asked if they knew anyone that would want to move in to the house they were moving from. They asked us, and I thought about it, but we had just finally gotten settled, just got our dog, and only needed 2 bedrooms. We passed. That was 6 or so years ago. So fast forward to April-I was driving around the neighborhoods by Caitlyn's school looking for "for rent" signs. I saw this huge beautiful white house on a street I never really noticed. I wrote down the number and turned the corner to another street, which just happened to be the street my brother's old house was on. As I drove past his old house, I saw a U-haul truck and people moving OUT! There was no "for rent" sign or anything, but I just thought, hmmm! So I thought about it and I decided the next day I would just knock on his old landlord's door, see if they still owned the house, if they are looking to rent it, and tell them I am interested. I went and after a few times circling the block and getting up the nerve, I knocked on the door. No answer. I called my brother and talked about it and he gave me their name. I looked it up in the phone book, found their number, and the next day I called them. No answer. I left a message saying who I was, etc etc. I thought I would hear from them that day, but after 4 days of waiting and not hearing, I decided to move on. I looked at a couple of other houses that were OK, but didn't compare. So on that 5th day I was driving home and I got a call from the landlord. She told me that those people had given her 1 day notice and would be out by that weekend, then she needed to get in the house and see what needed done, repair it, and then she would give me a call. One thing my brother told me about those landlords is that they were total procrastinators and drug their feet for everything. So after about 10 days I called her back. She said there was still a lot of work to do, that it should be done by June 1st, she was planning to put a "for rent" sign up (huh? why?) and needed to get applications, she was gonna do that the next day and call me. Four more days go by-no call so I called her. I got the voicemail and left a message. 1 week later still no word, so in the meantime I had looked at another house, a duplex, very cute, very artsy, and I LOVED the owners-they were my age and cool. So I put in an app for that. The next day I called Jimmy's old landlord and thought I would give it one last shot. I called to tell them I was still interested but that I was looking at other places too, I got her dad. He was very talkative to me and told me all about the work he had been doing in the house, etc. they own it together and live together. He put his daughter on and I told her I was still interested and she said it still wasn't done and wouldn't be done till the next week. I could tell she was getting annoyed with me. I started to ask her if she had an application and as I did so her dad was in the background saying have her come over and get the application. So she told me to get it the next day. In the meantime I thought it was strange that I had never heard from the duplex people. But I did take Gabriella to bring the app to the other people and talked for a little bit w/ the dad and told him my situation with grandma, etc. He is close to her age too. So anyways, the next day I turned in the app and they were very vague about it and said they would call me. She called me the next day and asked me what kind of pets I had, I told her worrying that that would be the end of that. She then called to say that the number to my old landlord was disconnected, I told her I had no other number but gave her his wife's name too so that she could try to find it online. She said she should know something by the end of the next week, that was Friday 5/26/06. On Saturday I got a call from the duplex people, they wanted to offer it to me. I was so excited but told him that I was waiting to hear about another place too and I asked if I could call him that Tues, he said sure. So I decided I would call the house people and tell them I was offered another place but preferred theirs, and had they made a decision about me. I got the voicemail and left a message for them to call me. She called me back soon after and I told her the situation. She said she was pretty sure her dad wanted to rent it to me but that she needed to check with him and call me back. I said that was fine. She called me back that night and told me they wanted me to rent it and that I could move in Saturday 6/3/06-possibly late Friday night. They were getting new carpeting put in on that day for the entire first floor.
How about that story? ...DESTINY>>>>
I think had we moved in their 6 years ago we (Len and I) would have messed the situation up with all of our drama we had. So all those events led up to this great news and opportunity for us!!

Life is Good...

Today I am really in a great mood. This entire week I was very sick, I had indigestion, abdominal pain to the point where I was hunched over, continuous burping w/ a strange taste in my mouth, and no desire to eat or move for that matter. (plus other symptoms I will spare you) I waited it out, still went to work and took care of my kids-because that what single moms do-and did not even work out this whole week! Today I am finally feeling more like myself, not 100% but definitely better. I feel I can work out tonight! The past year a lot has gone on in my life, and I felt like I needed to tie up some loose ends. So here we go:

-My brother Jimmy went to court several times and Monday he was found guilty on the drug possession. The drug trafficking, a felony, was absolved. He was facing major jail/prison time but was sentenced to 1 yr house arrest, 2 yrs probation. He has no car, no job, and a new girlfriend that works 2 jobs, supports him and has like 4 kids. My brother takes care of the kids, but sadly won't be able to see his own for the next yr(possibly 6 mo) unless his x-wife will agree to bring them to him. My brother is ok w/the sentencing-he was expecting much worse. We are all relieved.

-Homelife/Grandma situation- It is pretty much the same, except my uncle(60yrs old) has moved here from California and lives w/us. I suspect at the least he is smoking pot, he eats more than me and my kids put together, stays out all night sometimes, and hogs the TV. But he has been "told" to do some of the things I would normally do, the trash, the yard work, and several odds and ends around the house. BUT He shares the brunt of any hostility she may have or when she gets in her mood swings, he has defended me to her on several occasions, he is witness to everything I have told the rest of my family that they are in denial about, he occupies some of her time by playing cards w/her so it distracts her, and he is encouraging me that I can now move on b/c he will take care of her now. He says my time is up. I also talked w/ my dad and other uncle on this and let them know I am now seeking a new place to live and plan to move 6/1/06. While they are a little worried about my uncle taking care of her, and say they don't think that he will do as well of a job as I have (huh?praise??), but they realize it is time. So I have been looking for A place to live since April. It has been hard b/c I have a LG dog that my x actually wanted, when we split up I inherited the dog. But I have finally found a couple places that I like that will accept him, so I am waiting to see which place will have us. It is very exiting-they are not close to my job, but at this point more in my price range and they are very close to Caitlyn's school. I did talk to her and told her that we will have to move closer to my work-the drive is just too hard on us, esp in the winter.

-Caitlyn has been doing so much better! My whole family has commented on how she has opened up more and is more outgoing w/ them. She is no longer friends w/ one girl that her teacher actually warned me was depressed, a cutter, and over dramatic. I did not tell Caitlyn not to be her friend, but when they got into a huge fight I did encourage her to become friends w/other girls. Caitlyn is getting all A's and B's right now, she just did several writing assignments that were beautiful and she got A+'s on them.(1 was a biography on the person she admires most, me) She also made me some beautiful mother's day gifts and card, and involved her sister in it too! Don't get me wrong, we still are in the midst of teenage torture years so not EVERYTHING is rosy, but she is acting more like her old self.

-My weight loss, I am still working on it! I have lost 42 pounds and am close to my goal. I would like to lose 12 more pounds. I am still eating the same way, but exercising every day has become very tedious and boring to me. It gets harder and harder for me to walk into that gym, but still have been dragging myself there.
I was consistently losing 3 pounds a week, lately I have been losing like 1-2 pounds every 2 weeks. It is tough, but I am still committed! The only time I strayed from my diet was on Mother's day. I had a really nice steak dinner, but I worked my ass off at the gym that sat and sun to prepare for it. In those 2 days I worked off 1750 calories. Yeah, I am psychotic!

-The Len situation will never be "tied up." I feel it will always be an issue until he grows up, I mean we have a child together. Lately I have been pretty much avoiding him. He has given me crap about various things per usual. His latest is that he wrecked his new 2006 car and says he does not have the $500 for the deductible so he is surrendering it. He has no car and I have no idea how he is getting to work. He tried to guilt me into taking him saying he will get fired and I won't get child support from him, I said no. So now he is saying he is enlisting in the army and will be leaving in 3-4 weeks. (If I only had a dollar for everytime he has told me that...)We'll see

-My love live is the same. What love life? I don't have one! I did go out for drinks w/my dad a month or so ago, but that's really it. I talk to a couple guys at my gym and at work, but that's about it. I am ok with it right now though. I am working a lot on myself and getting to like myself again, plus my kids get all my attention. Although it is lonely at times with no male in my life, it has been a long time since I did not have one in my life. I am excited about my future and can't wait to start the next chapters of our life. (my daughters' and I)

-Work is good. I am coming up on my year with the company. I had made a commitment to stay in this position for 1 year, so once that is up my possibilities are endless! Also this is the time that they will offer tuition reimbursement as well so I am excited about that. I have no college education at all and am anxious to have that opportunity to even take online courses to better my career. It could be nothing but a bonus. I have been volunteering for anything that comes my way, committees, focus group, training sessions, etc. So we will see!

THE OFFICE-WOW!!

My favorite show is the Office,(that and Scrubs)- it is on Thursday nights. Since I work out every night at 8pm I miss a lot of my favorite shows. Luckily the Office is on at 9pm so I still get to see it. I have been watching it for awhile. I hope some of you watch it too because I really want to discuss what happened last night on the season finale.
OK, WOW! So Jim FINALLY told Pam how he felt and kissed her??!! So what does that mean? Is she gonna call off her wedding now or just not talk to Jim anymore? Will he take that transfer based on her answer? What will happen to the chemistry of the show if they DO wind up getting into a relationship? Will it really be that good anymore? I love the drama of their story and don't want it to be ruined by them just getting together and becoming boyfriend /girlfriend and lose all of their intrigue. OH I just can't wait until September! Plus that whole thing w/Roy asking the band to play at his wedding-hilarious! What was up with Jan bringing an overnight bag to the event, too? Was she gonna hook up w/Michael again? I guess so. The most hilarious part was when Dwight was playing poker and said whenever Jim coughed that was his tell and that meant he had a good hand. Then Jim was like, "Funniest thing whenever I cough Dwight folds."
I love the Office and if you have never watched it I suggest you start this summer when all the reruns are on-you will get hooked! It is the funniest show on TV! (also Scrubs)