A Split Second....

It can alter an outcome, it can change the course of your life, it can end an existence for someone. Saturday night I saw my life flash before my eyes and I felt the most terrible fear I have ever felt in my life. I was helpless, in that split second. I wasn't paying attention, I was distracted. I didn't warn her-it was all my fault. Luckily, that split second didn't cause the pain it could have.
My oldest daughter asked me on Thursday if she could go rollerskating with her friends on Saturday night. I had taken her there before with friends and chaperoned, and as time went on I had allowed her to go with her friends, providing I am the drop off and pick up person. I told her I'd think about it, and I told her if she went she'd need to earn some money to go so I would arrange some chores for her to do. On Friday I told her she could go, and the chores she'd need to do. Like any kid, she raced to the phone to call her friend and tell her the good news, the chores would wait until Saturday. Saturday morning I woke her up at 10:00 and she immediately called her friend to re-re-re-confirm their plans, and talk about where they'd meet, etc. I won't allow her to walk in by herself, the friends must be by the door so we can see them when I drop her off. She was unable to reach the girl. Her home phone-she got the machine, her cellphone- the voicemail.
She worked on her chores most of the day in between trying to call her over and over and over again. I don't know about all preteen girls, but mine is VERY persistent when she wants something! At about 3:00, still no word from the girl. She thought she might try to see if she's online, but my grandma was waiting for a call so she could not go online. She was completely in tears by 5:00, and finally SHE got a hold of one of the girls. She was told it started at 8:00, they'd meet her in the parking lot and they'd call when they were close to our house since our house is closer to the skating rink. Caitlyn was ready by 7:30, 1/2 hr early, and if you know Caitlyn that is quite a feat. 8:00 comes, no call. 8:15 comes, no call. Finally 8:30 comes and she calls, they are already there waiting for her! Of course Caitlyn panicks, worrying they will not wait, etc. At this point we are racing to get on shoes, coats, etc and I know it's cold out so I wait in the car. Plus I was returning a carpet shampooer I borrowed to my dad's on the way home.(stepmom was not home, ha ha, prev post) I had to put in on the passenger side because the car seat is on the driver side of the car. I started the car and walked around front to the passenger side, and slipped on some ice on the driveway. I noticed there was a lot of ice scattered on only that side of the driveway. I got back into the car shivering, and started rummaging through my purse for my wallet. I finally got it and I was counting my money when I heard the door to the house shut and Caitlyn come out. What TRULY happened next, I am not sure. She and I have two different versions. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her running. It was quick, all so quick. Then I thought I saw her in front of the car and slip, WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her head slammed unto the hood, bounced off like a high bounce ball, and down she went. I screamed at the top of my lungs, "OH MY GOD!!", threw my wallet/purse, slammed open my door and raced out of the car as fast as I could. I just knew she would have "blunt trauma to the head." (I watch WAY too much court tv) I was afraid that instead of taking her to the skating rink I would be taking her to the hospital. She would be in a coma. She would die. It would be all my fault! All of the sudden I hear, "I'm ok, I'm ok!" She was up and walking! She got into the car and I got in, shut my door, and lost it. I didn't ask her if she was ok, what hurt, what she fell on, nothing. I just burst into tears, and I mean burst! I was crying so hard I started to hyperventilate! Caitlyn started to rub my shoulders and say, "It's ok mom, I'm alright" over and over again to calm me down. I finally did, she fell on her knee and elbow, and according to her NOTHING hit the hood of the car. She said the reason she screamed at me when I ran out of the car is because she was sure I was going to fall too. My life flashed before me, and my happiness too, in that split second. Because of that split second, it reminded me to appreciate my life, tell my family I love them, treasure my kids, because life is way, way too fragile. It can end in just a SPLIT SECOND.